thoughts of the night:

The amount of things I post on the internet seem to increase as I have more things that I need to be doing at the moment. Though I am done with school learning for today (I may be fun learning right now though). 

But I was looking through DSM IV personality, mood and anxiety disorders and I was thinking about abnormal psych and how passionate that made me. I mean there are people out there with these disorders and quite honestly I am slightly concerned by the fact that we are labeling people with these based on a “they must fit X number of criteria from this list” basis, but I digress. It is just this is the stuff that drove my mind crazy and I miss this aspect of learning. And that is now making me hate myself just that much more for the fact that I have drifted away from my original dream. So, here is to you 9th grade epiphany and 11th grade confirmation. It crushed my soul the looks on people’s faces when I told them what I wanted to be when I “grew up.” So I eventually just stopped. And then I just changed my answer to something people would easily accept. I am so sick of that. I really feel that dreams are dreamt for a reason and today I just had a realization again that things have to happen for a reason to keep the universe stable and to keep things that should happen happening, so why wouldn’t this dream be there because it is meant to be? People are in my life because the Universe has willed against all odds for them to be because it knows that they are needed to complete me. (I am the combined efforts of everyone I have ever known). I would be refusing my every essence if I did not at least attempt this. 

“We all create stories to protect ourselves.”